Thursday, August 19, 2010

Truth Revealed humorously...

Not every conversation in the White House stays private. A passing maintenance man, an intern, and the public gets wind of what’s going on behind the scenes.

That is exactly what happened here, though I won’t be revealing any sources. Who knows when the next juicy bit of inside information will be revealed. I can also reveal some good news, at least one of these problems was solved before it got too messy.

The overheard conversation was between Karl Rove, Bush’s Brain, and George himself.

You’re not looking well Mr. President how do you feel.

Well I’m a little, you know indigestated, but I feel like my performance is way up.

You look, well, you look a little constipated.

I suppose I am, but a president needs to be at top performance you know and sacrifice at the country.

Why of course you need to stay at top performance, but what does that have to do with constipation.

It’s not real bad yet. I just need to work out some details on this performance thing.

George you’re not making much sense. What the hell are you talking about? George have you started doing something new without checking it with me first. Have you forgotten George. I’m your brain. They even wrote a book about it.

Yes I know Karl they wrote another god forsaken book about how smart you are. Well I’m pretty smart too. I read it on the Internets. Some Instapudding site said I was wiley and some others Americans called warbuggers like me too. They all said I’m plenty smart.

Yes George you’re smart but you didn’t answer my question. Did you do something new that you haven’t told me about.

Okay well yes I did that corked thing. You know to enhance my performance.

What corked thing, what are you talking about?

God Karl for being so smart don’t you even read the sports page. I mean I know it was illegal for Sammy to cork his butt, but that’s because they have a rule against it in baseball. I’m a president I’m not a baseball player if I can do something to enhance my performance there’s no rule against it. Sammy said he did it for his fans and I have fans too.

I don’t know how to tell you this George

Just say it like you always do Karllll.

Sammy’s problem was with a corked bat George not a corked butt.

Are you sure Karl

Yes George I’m sure.

Karl have our guys found any of the weapons we made destructive.

You mean weapons of mass destruction.

Yea those.

I told you about the mobile biological labs didn’t I.

Yes, but people are asking me questions I can’t answer.

Like what?

Well they want to know how a semi-trailer truck is a weapon. Were the Iraqis going to run over people or what.

No George they were going to use it to make bugs and chemicals and then unleash those against our troops.

Come on Karl, your telling me they had bugs and the bugs were on a leash and they were going to let them off the leash and that was dangerous. Our troops could just take their size twelve boots and stomp on the bugs. I need something more than that.

George the bugs are invisible. They are so small that people can’t see them.

You mean like all those other weapons you said they had and now we can’t find. I’m confused.

Never mind about the biological weapons just tell them the labs created chemical weapons, you know what chemicals are right?

Sure I’m not dumb you know.

Yes George. Tell them about the mustard gas they could have produced.

God Karl you’re telling me to explain about the chemicals and now you’re telling me about gas. I know all about gas. You know I’m feeling better after that cork thing though now I have a little gas of my own. It’s pretty bad but if you just hold your nose. Karl, why can’t people just hold their noses if they encounter this mustard gas stuff.

George mustard gas burns the skin it is really nasty stuff.

Yes, well mine sometimes burns a little too.

Never mind George just tell them that you’ll reveal the truth when we find it.

Yes, okay Karl I’ll tell them that.


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