Thursday, June 10, 2010

Doing the right thing..

I like choices.

I bet we all do. But somehow we seem to take pride in our ability to deny ourselves things.

I am not getting into the monogamous institute of marriage ( it need not be, depending on where or into what you are born or even what you choose to be). I know you would love to get my foot in the mouth and make me sleep on the couch for the rest of my life but I will refrain.

Take for example food. I do not understand vegetarians. Why would anyone choose to be a vegetarian? I don't know. Our dental structure clearly shows that nature never intended us to be that way. We were meant to eat what we get.

We were never meant to be choosy but in some weird quirk of evolution, cockroaches lost the battle to supremacy and the mantel of Lord of all that he surveys fell upon us and then some prehistoric monkey developed a taste for vegetables.

I don't get it. I like those guys who one day gave up meat because they decided on humanitarian grounds not to be part of taking life... but lets face it; Fried chicken is far more tasty than your soul.

What I do have a problem with Vegetarians is something I was discussing with a couple of vegetarian friends of mine. They haven't really helped in the ecological balance of earth, which they could have if they had enlarged their menu. You see, it’s my earnest belief that we tend to conserve what we think is important to us.

We seem, somehow, to have an aversion towards dying.

Now if the vegetarians increased their diet to include the salads made from the nut or leaves of trees from the rain forest or made soups from the root of the cedar, oak or silver wood, we would have had a greener planet.

Instead they left it to the meat eaters to protect and breed their meals on legs which now threaten to fart us out of our planet.

Vegetarians could have been the saviors of our planet. I have always maintained that, for wild life to survive we just need to start developing a taste for them.

A tiger steak anyone?

My plan to save our planet is very simple. I have been thinking... Yes, it does occur. Now we all know that death is a great business. Funeral services are the only business that can claim year long supply of customers.

Recession or not, people have to die. So, my plan is this. When we bury someone why don't we insert a seed of a tree into the corpse's heart? Think about it. You have one tree per dead person. You replace graveyards with forests. We can use the cremated ones ashes as fertilizers.

Personally I would like to be the worm food for a banyan tree.

Man, I’m so damn brilliant. Now all I have to do is create a religion around it so that you will take it seriously.

Nothing better than a little of brimstone, some fire and some infidels thrown in to motivate people to do the right thing.


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