Time for more proverbs or can I say semi-pro verbs

• Beggars can't be choosers. Besides, making good choices is probably not their forte.




• Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind her is the guy's wife, and boy is she pissed.




• The best defense is a good offense. And gun turrets.




• Better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Save the cursing for when the candle spills hot wax on you.




• A penny saved is a penny earned, but if you're counting the pennies, you're screwed.




• Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Just take the damn thing.




• Where there's a will, there's a way to contest it.




• Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.




• Good things come to those who wait tables.




• Haste makes waste. Donuts make waist.




• Honesty is the best policy, but the premiums are unaffordable.




• If we were meant to fly, we'd have wings. If we were meant to be too fat to fly, we'd have wings with ranch sauce.




• Love is blind. This explains why it feels like it keeps whacking you with its cane.




• Misery loves company. Especially this one company I used to work for.




• Nature abhors a vacuum. So does my house.




• Time wounds all heels.




• Forewarned is forearmed, but oblivious is elbowed in the gut.




• If you can't beat them, join them to a chair with duct tape. Then beat them.




• Money is the root of all evil. So money does grow on trees; you just have to dig for it.




• Blood is thicker than water. But give it a good scrub and the cops will never know.




• Charity begins at home. Or so my neighbour kids told me when they begged 5 bucks off me.




• Cleanliness is next to godliness. But it's even closer to annoyingliness.




• The early bird catches the worm. So sleep in, unless you like worms for breakfast.




• Discretion is the better part of valor. But it's the most critical part of cowardice.




• Don't punch a gift horse in the mouth.




• It takes one to know one. But it doesn't take anything to know nothing at all.




• Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.




• A person is known by the company he keeps. Especially the CEO.




• A picture paints a thousand words. But they're really tiny and hard to read.




• A rising tide lifts all boats. Then it smashes them on the rocks.




• Crime doesn't pay. But the perks are awesome.




• He who hesitates is lost. You can tell because he's looking at a map.




• It's no use crying over spilled milk. Acid, however, is worth a complete breakdown.




• Let sleeping dogs lie. But torture the cats for the truth.




• Many hands make light work. But electricity makes lights work.




• A friend in need is a friend in debt.




• A good man is hard to fine.




• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So don't even start or you'll be walking for friggin' ever.




• A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. But not as dangerous as a little dynamite.

I think that's enough for today..... more to come soon.