Fools pretend to be intelligent, cheats pretend to be honest, foes pretend to be friends, and all of us go through such stress trying to be what we are not. We are so mindful of what others think of us. We fear hate and rejection.

But what I have learnt so far is that trying to please others is like trying to move a mountain. There are very few people who are really happy with one's success.

Whenever I have achieved something, with the exception of my family and a few close friends, I doubt people have really felt happy for me. Hence I have acquired this care-a-damn attitude about what others think of me.

I hate to pretend and always try to be my own self. It's difficult but once you acquire this, it can be the most comforting and liberating attitude to have. I am still pretty popular because I am a kind of fun character to be with. But I doubt how many of them will be around when bad times come upon me.

It's easy to be the centre of attraction at the hostel mess table, cracking jokes and sharp, witty one liner. What is difficult is to find a person to talk to when you don't have any joke to crack.

Its easy to gather "friends" for the party a class topper throws, what is difficult is to find a friend who will listen and comfort you when you fail the exam. Its easy to find people for company for a stroll in the garden, what is difficult is to find a friend to accompany you during a hard trip under a burning sun.

And I realize that there will be times in my life when it will look like a hard trip, when I will have no wit to entertain anybody, when I would have failed. It is in these times when a true friend is needed.

And for this true friend, I would not need to pretend. The friend would not need me to be someone him/her desires, but would accept me for what I am. Who would like me not for being at an NIT, not because I may have a good job, not because I am a "so called" academic under achiever but would like me for what I am, and not for what I have done or not done.

It is so very difficult to find such a person, but to find him/her; you don't need to pretend to be someone else, but to just be yourself.

I know the above crap would not make much of sense, and is nothing new, but just wanted to write it down, just wanted to express how phony this world can sometimes be. It's a sea of pretentions....